An Out-of-State Warrant Separated This Mother and Child - The Bail Project Skip to main content

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In early December 2023, Destinie left work and headed to pick up her three-year-old daughter from preschool in Stockton, California, only to be pulled over for what she thought was a routine traffic stop. But after police looked up her name, they informed Destinie that she had an out-of-state warrant and was under arrest. When the 25-year-old single mother learned that the arrest warrant stemmed from failing to appear in court for an old case in Phoenix that she thought had long ago been resolved, she was shocked. 

“I had no idea what to do. No one [asked] whether someone could care for my daughter.”

“I had no idea what to do,” Destinie said. “No one [asked] whether someone could care for my daughter. I only had a few minutes to look through my phone and write phone numbers down.” Before police finished booking her into jail, Destinie managed to get hold of her mother on the phone. She quickly explained the situation and told her mother to go and pick up her daughter from school. 

In recent years, research shows 80% of women who go to jails are mothers. Many are single-mothers, like Destinie, who are incarcerated awaiting trial because they can’t afford bail. Their experience underscores the devastating consequences that wealth-based detention has on families. As a result of cash bail, mothers are at risk of losing custody of their children. As they wait for their cases to be resolved, many face increased psychological distress, often taking the form of anxiety, terror, and depression. 

Destinie is a second-generation Asian-American. Born and raised in California, she grew up embracing the gorgeous seaside and laid back lifestyle that the Golden State affords. Before her daughter was born in 2021, she decided to relocate to Phoenix in search of new opportunities and more affordable housing options. Eventually, Destinie moved back to Stockton so she could raise her daughter with her mom and family nearby. A few years later, in 2023, her daughter started preschool, so Destinie decided to return to work. She landed a job as an in-home care assistant for senior citizens. 

It was only Destinie’s first week at work when the arrest happened. Police booked and detained her at a correctional facility in Stockton. Because she was arrested on an out-of-state warrant, she wasn’t eligible for bail in California. She realized then that she would have to stay behind bars for an unspecified amount of time until officials extradited her to Phoenix, where her original case from 2021 was outstanding and subsequent charge for failing to appear to court happened. 

As a result of incarceration, Destinie lost her new job, but even worse, she was forcibly separated from her baby. Not knowing when she would be reunited with her daughter felt gut-wrenching. As Destinie sat behind bars, days and weeks began to feel like months and years.

Prior to being incarcerated, Destinie was the main provider for her daughter. The pair were inseparable and spent nearly every waking hour together since she was born. “She follows me everywhere. She has to be touching me in order for her to fall asleep,” Destinie said. “Even if it’s just her feet.”

After one month, Destinie was finally extradited to Phoenix and she became eligible for bail. But when a judge set her bail amount to $9,000 – which was far more than she or her family had on hand – Destinie was forced to remain in jail. The only way she’d be able to get released was if she found a way to pay bail. Until that happened, she would remain incarcerated until her case was resolved. 

Destinie felt comfort knowing that her daughter was safe and being looked after by family, but she still felt anguish knowing that she was missing pivotal moments in her daughter’s development. That she would never be able to experience those first-time milestones with her daughter felt almost unbearable. “I was so depressed,” Destinie said. “She learns so fast. She knows all her colors.”

Evidence suggests that when mothers are separated from their children as a result of incarceration, children suffer too. They face greater instability, and with it feelings of isolation, confusion, and sadness. As a result, children are found to be more at risk of developing behavioral problems later in life. They also tend to experience declining school performance, are at greater risk of developing psychological symptoms related to PTSD, and experience greater residential and financial instability as a result. A parent’s justice-system involvement is also contagious – children with parents who are incarcerated face an increased likelihood of becoming justice-involved themselves at some point in their lives.

Towards the end of January 2024, after nearly two months away from her daughter, Destinie was finally released from jail, but only because she was fortunate enough to have The Bail Project provide her with free bail assistance. To ensure that Destinie was able to reunite with her daughter and still make it to her court dates, The Bail Project also provided Destinie with court reminders and financial assistance to travel back and forth between her home in California and court in Phoenix. This allowed Destinie to focus on being a mom and providing for her daughter. 

“I can’t imagine what I would have done had I been separated from my daughter for much longer.”

Finally, on May 23, 2024, nearly six months after her arrest, Destinie accepted a plea agreement and was sentenced to two years supervised probation. Her case was finally closed. And this time it was for certain. “I can’t imagine what I would have done had I been separated from my daughter for much longer,” she said. “I’m happy to put this all behind me.” 

I hope you were as moved by reading this story as I was while interviewing our client and writing it. We at The Bail Project are honored to provide a platform for our clients to share their experiences – but we are only able to do so because of the support of readers like you. If you found value in this story, please consider donating today. Every little bit helps.

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Staff Writer

Melissa Etehad

Melissa Etehad (she/her/hers) is the Staff Writer at The Bail Project. As the Staff Writer, Ms. Etehad is responsible for producing a variety of publication materials for The Bail Project’s audiences and overseeing the organization’s client storytelling efforts. Before joining The Bail Project, Ms. Etehad was a Staff Writer at the Los Angeles Times, where she covered national and foreign news. Ms. Etehad received her B.S. in international studies and religion from UC San Diego and her M.A in journalism from Columbia University.

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